last year i was eating in a fancy, large restaurant when i began to hear a rumble and the distant sound of people chanting ‘potassium, potassium’ and suddenly hundreds of people dressed as bananas flood this restaurant chanting potassium over and over and we were trapped there for a very long time because the bananas would not leave and they were everywhere
i wasn’t joking
how much do islands cost i want one
Less than a college education
what the fuck
If the multiverse theory is true, then there’s a universe where it isn’t.
Multiverse theory doesn’t cover paradoxical situations
Except in the universe where it does
|—||Ernest Hemingway before a fight, probably. (via fuckyeahmelancholy)|
|—||Vincent van Gogh (via larmoyante)|
think i just found my new life motto
A Mental Illness Happy Hour listener whose list of fears matches mine four for four. Glad I’m not the only one.
I’m posting this gif almost entirely because of this mans untuck…
for a while i thought this was just reversed, but then i realised that you can’t reverse the landing.. WHAT THE FUCK. How you do that son?!
i can barely get out of bed without tripping
and then there’s this asshole
This is some graceful, superhero shit right here.